ፈቃድ በቀላል ቃላት፡ አዎ ማለት ምን ማለት ነው
ፈቃድ ማለት ሁለቱም ሰዎች በነፃነት፣ በግልጽ እና ያለ ጫና የተስማሙበት ነው። ይህ ጽሑፍ ፈቃድ ምን እንደሆነ፣ ጤናማ ግንኙነት ምን እንደሚመስል እና እርዳታ የት እንደሚገኝ በሰላማዊ መንገድ ያብራራል።
Consent, in plain words: what a yes really means
You hear the word consent a lot, but it can feel like a big or clinical idea. It's actually simple, and it belongs to you. Consent is agreement. It's the clear, comfortable yes that two people give each other before and during anything physical between them. When that yes is real and freely chosen by both people, that's consent.
This piece walks through what consent really means, how a healthy relationship feels, how to notice pressure, and where you can turn if something doesn't feel right.
What consent actually is
Consent is a choice you make freely, when you have enough information and no one is pushing you. A few things are true about it:
It's freely given. A yes only counts when it comes without pressure, fear, guilt, or someone using their power over you. If you feel you can't say no, then your yes isn't free.
It's specific. Agreeing to one thing isn't agreeing to everything. Saying yes to holding hands or to a kiss isn't a yes to anything more.
It can be taken back at any time. You can change your mind, and that's completely your right. The moment you're not comfortable, you can stop, and the other person should stop too. Consent isn't a one-time signature. It's an ongoing check-in between two people.
It has to be clear. Silence, or someone not saying no, isn't a yes. Real consent is an enthusiastic and clear agreement, not something you have to guess at.
Someone also can't truly consent if they're not in a state to agree. If a person is asleep, unconscious, heavily affected by alcohol or drugs, or unable to understand what's happening, then they can't give consent, even if they don't say no. In the same way, a child cannot give consent to sex with an adult. When someone can't freely and knowingly agree, going ahead isn't consent, and it's wrong.
What a healthy relationship feels like
In a healthy relationship, you feel safe to be yourself. You can say what you want and what you don't want, and your partner listens. You're not afraid of how they'll react. You can disagree, spend time with your own friends and family, and still feel respected.
Respect is the heart of it. Your partner cares about how you feel, checks in with you, and never treats your body as something they're owed. Both people feel free, and both people feel heard.
Recognising pressure and coercion
Not all pressure looks like force. Sometimes it's quiet. Someone might keep asking until you give in. They might make you feel guilty, say that if you loved them you'd agree, threaten to leave you, or warn you that they'll share private photos or tell others. This is called coercion, and it means the yes isn't free.
If someone ignores your no, makes you afraid, or uses their age, money, or position over you, that's not okay, and it's not your fault. You did nothing to cause it. Nobody is entitled to your body, and you never owe anyone a yes.
If any of this is happening to you, please know that help is available and you don't have to face it alone. You can talk to someone you trust, and you can talk to a Letena doctor in private about what you're going through.
A note on age and the law
Ethiopian law protects young people here. Under the Criminal Code of 2005, the age of consent is 18, so a person needs to be 18 to agree to sex in the eyes of the law. Sex with anyone under 18 is treated as a serious offence, whatever the young person is felt to have agreed to, and the law sets heavy penalties for it. The law also makes forced sex, sex without consent, and sex that's obtained through threats or by taking advantage of someone a crime. If any of this has happened to you, the law is on your side, and none of it is your fault.
If you have been forced or hurt
If someone has forced you into sex, or hurt you, please know that you can get care and that it is not your fault. It can help to reach a trusted person and to get to a safe place. It also helps to see a doctor or go to a hospital soon, because there's medical care that works best in the first few days after an assault. This includes care that can lower the chance of pregnancy and of infections such as HIV, and gentle support for how you're feeling. You don't have to decide anything about reporting to get medical care. Many hospitals in Ethiopia, including one-stop centres attached to major hospitals, bring medical care and support together in one place for people who've been through this. Some of this care is time-sensitive: medicine to prevent pregnancy can work for up to five days afterwards, and medicine that lowers the chance of HIV needs to be started within three days, so reaching care soon gives you the most options.
When to talk to a doctor
Reach out if you feel unsafe, if someone is pressuring or threatening you, if you're not sure whether what happened to you was okay, or if you simply have questions you'd rather ask quietly. A Letena doctor can listen, answer honestly, and help you find the right support, including care after a difficult experience.
Talking about consent isn't about rules. It's about your safety, your comfort, and your right to choose. You deserve relationships where your yes is real and your no is respected.
You can ask a Letena doctor about your own situation in private, and if it feels easier, you can start without giving your name. It's free, and you'll hear back within a few hours. If anything feels unsafe, please reach out, because help is there for you.